HAPPY NEW YEAR FELLAS!

2013 is round the corner and it is the time to make some resolutions, the first being that I shall be more resolute about fulfilling my resolutions. So, here is my list of resolutions for the year 2013.  

Get Elastic Waistbands: Is it the case with all women or is it just me who runs short of waistbands (not in terms of length for if that’s the case, we would witness catastrophe but more so, in terms of numbers)? Waistband crisis has haunted women for decades now. In 1921, Meme who lived in a small village in Eastern U.P could not get married to the man of her dreams for on her wedding day, when the groom was waiting for the bride; Meme was struggling to find a waistband. The year 2013, will henceforth be remembered as the year that solved the problem of the waistband. I resolve that in 2013, I will solve the problem of waistband crisis by switching to elastic waistbands. For once and for all.

File Petition with Denim Companies: I am sick and tired of rummaging through stacks of even- sized jeans in the shelves of the stores in malls. If your waist size is 30, you are lucky. If your waist size is 32, you need to lose some weight, but you are still lucky for you will get a pair of denim that will fit. However, if your girdle is 31 inches, may heaven be with you for you will never find jeans that will fit. Size 30 won’t let you get into it and size 32 won’t let you stay into it. I resolve to file a petition with denim companies in 2013, thereby, requesting them to create odd-sized denims. If I am paying for it, I want to be able to breathe in it.

Learn to make annoying conversations: As much as I would like to believe that the verbatim conversation mentioned below never happened, the truth is it did happen. And as much as I’d like to believe that ‘babu’, ‘baby’, ‘bachha’ can be cute monikers; the truth is they are utterly irritating when spoken in public.

X: Meri to shaddi kisi aur se hone wali thi, lekin phir yeh meri zindagi main aaye aur inhone mujhe apne glamour se aakarshit kar liya. Yeh na brand management main hain, to inko sab mall main sab jaante hain. Yeh mujhe mall leke gaye aur bahut shopping karayi, kahin kisi ne paise bhi nahin liye.

Y: (uninterested expression) Achha. Lucky hain aap.

X: Haan aur mujhe hi nahin, inhone mere bhai ko bhi shopping karayi aur woh pagal 67,000 ki shopping kar baitha. Louis Philippe ki shirt, addidas ke joote, sab itni mahangi mahangi cheezen khareed lin.

Y: (uninterested expression) Achha. Lucky hain aap.

X: Haan main to inke charm se attract hogayi. (takes her phone out and shows it to the other girl) Yeh dekho meri Nano. Yeh to inhone mujhe shaadi par di.

Y: Achha. Lucky hain aap.

I am usually not very irritating except when I absolutely want to be. All the same, it is good to be irritating. Take for instance, if I am travelling in a metro coach and the person sitting right next is exuding stink, I can irritate her to death by making an annoying conversation. Puking is helpful too, but it should be reserved for quandary situations. In 2013, I resolve to learn to be irritating and annoying and I resolve to learn to puke and burp.

Finish that book by Robert Fisk: For those of you who do not know, Robert Fisk is a British Journalist who most probably has been given the distinguished honor of being a Historian (in all fairness, Fisk as a Historian, is a better historian than any historian can be). It was in 2011, that I first picked up ‘The Great War for Civilization’, a book so elaborate it makes Arundhati Roy’s articles look tersely brief; safe to say  if God were to complete this book, he would have not been able to create the world. Two months later, I put it down. Two months later, I picked it up. Two months later, I put it down yet again and it has been so. The year 2013 shall see me finish ‘The Great War for Civilization’.

Put relationships to test: Relationships should be put to tests for life should be devoid of people who cannot be trusted. 2013 shall witness me putting to test the loyalty of all the men and women. The litmus test of my friendship would be considered qualified only if all men I know vow to see the Twilight series and skip the annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show whereas all women who claim to love me, gift me a dress from their wardrobes.

There are only a very few important things in life. People will come; people will go. There will be times when you will feel that your world is shrinking and is about to come to an end but you will find a ray of hope making way into your life and sweeping it clean off the darkness. You will get hurt; you will lose but you will find the heart to fight and never give up. And while all this happens, the most important thing that you need to remember is- always moisturise your skin well and use sun screen for trust me, life can go on with a broken heart but not with a face that looks like cracked shoe polish.

One World. One Soul. Time shall pass but river won't roll.

As I mourn the death of the victim of Delhi Gang Rape Case, there is a sense of growing resentment within self, a revolting sorrow that is immensely disturbing and a feeling of helplessness that fiddles untrammeled with the peace of mind. Delhi, the city that is constantly moving, has seemed to stop to pay homage to a brave heart that succumbed to death after stirring the collective conscience of an otherwise resistant nation and its indifferent people.  However, as people unite to partake in Solidarity protest at Jantar Mantar and elsewhere, the Government stands ready to plunge daggers and puncture the brewing spirit of rebellion, the spirit that shall only be mitigated by justice and assurance. The media vans have been cleared from sites of protest and photography has been prohibited (as reported by some journalists). It is a day of double mourning: we mourn the death of Delhi Gang Rape Victim; we mourn the death of Indian Democracy.

It is in times when it is most unwanted that the follies of the fools become transparent and fall within the grasp of worthy attention. All societies are deeply entrenched with unparallel ideologies that rarely converge into a point of concurrence. However, when during times of turmoil, these diverse ideologies become points of argument rather than meaningful observations, their existence become futile and unworthy. Even in the Delhi Rape Case, the clashing ideologies have been a cause of much rancor. The issue of safety of women which should have been at the real locus of debate has been pushed to the periphery as irrelevant discussions revolving around Muslim Conquest of India, effectiveness of Sharia’ Law, detrimental influence of Western Culture etc. take centre-stage. 

No, Sharia’ is not the answer

When partition took place, the two sister nations were each given a choice and each chose a different fate- Pakistan decided to implant its roots in theocracy, India embraced Democracy. The journey that the two countries have made should cast some light on why the makers of modern India felt abalienated with the concept of theocracy. As soon as the news of Delhi Gang Rape reached the masses, social media sites were overtaken by gory pictures of bloodstained culprits being punished for the crime of rape as per the Sharia’ Law. Thousands have hailed the Sharia’ as the need of the hour completely forgetting that by adopting Sharia’, we are also adopting the ugliest form of violence against which we protest.  Stoning the culprits to death, castrating them or feeding them to stray hungry dogs may pour ice cold water on burnt hearts but in the long-run, such a system of law and justice will promote violence and barbarism. Most of all do we really need a justice system where not only the criminal but also the victim is punished (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qatif_rape_case)?

No, the ‘Muslim Conquest’ did not bring along the Rape Culture

There is no dearth of mindless Hindus who blame the Muslim invasion/conquest for an increase in the number of rape cases in India. The other day a bunch of zealots who believed, and perhaps very wrongly, that the Hindu culture was absolutely devoid of any instances of rape or adultery, blamed the Islamic conquest for the prevalence of rape culture in India. If, indeed, the Islamic conquest is to be blamed for the birth of rape culture in India, how is it that all the six accused in the Delhi Gang Rape Case are Hindus? If Islam brought along with itself the crime of rape, shouldn’t it be the followers of Islam and not that of Hinduism, who should have been caught as culprits?

No, it’s not about the increasing influence of the Western Culture

Khalid Hossaini wrote, “Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.”  There are some men who want the women of India to make peace with a horrendous crime that is rape only because they have opened their life to the Western Culture. The hidden insinuation states- either learn to live as per the norms we have set for you or do not expect us to protect you. When men make such diktats, they forget to browse through their phones and delete those porn clips, which to me are the most damaging of all Western spawns. If the short hem of a woman’s dress is capable of inciting the beast within a man, I wonder what devils get awakened when men who pass decrees see nude women on their screens. Ironically, nobody wipes the cell before asking the women to wipe off their rights.

No, the protest did not expose the malice of Delhi’s Underbelly

In a write-up about the rage that followed the rape of the victim, a journalist wrote that the protests exposed the malice of Delhi’s underbelly. How wrong can one be? The protest at Jantar Mantar and elsewhere in India did not expose the malice of Delhi’s Underbelly. On the contrary, if it all it did anything, it was to evince the fact that the people in this country are not immune to pain and injustice.  They are not heartless and selfish.  They won’t suffer in silence and life will not move-on when incidences that provoke stillness happen and happen repeatedly. 

The death of the 23-year old victim of Delhi Gang Rape Case is a cause of great sorrow to the country. The question that her death leaves unanswered is not about where do girls go wrong. It is not about what is wrong with people. It is also not about what is wrong with the media. The question is not about what or who is to be blamed for rape or an increase in the number of rape cases. The question is: What did you do to make women safer in this country? There will always be somebody who you can blame. There will always be a mistake that a woman might have made. There will always be a way to find you diverging from the prime say: Nothing, absolutely nothing, justifies rape. But there is also one thing that you need to remember, if you don’t do enough to make women safer in this country, there will be a soul up above in the sky that will not be able to rest in peace.

The Silence of the Lambs

“India’s society rails against rape, in the main, not out of concern for victims but because of the despicable notion that a woman’s body is the repository of family honour. It is this honour our society seeks to protect, not individual women.” – The Hindu.

The destructive and yet also the contributing habit of people of obsessing with permanent agendas only temporarily, and contributing to the sound and fury in only the moment of crisis leads to situations where hasty decisions overshadow reflexive thinking. That justice should be meted out to the victim of Delhi Rape Case and that the criminals should be hanged to death is not only right but also necessary.  Definitive actions pave way for definitive assurances and the women of this country, the people of India need that assurance from the law and the government. 

However, that punishing the criminals and that appeasing the existential angst of the people would not only lead to closure of the case but also the closure of the matter in general, is a cause of concern. In three months from now, all would have been forgotten. In three months from now, the over-powering sound and fury would find itself buried under the dunes of this fast- paced life. While few issues should be more important to Indian Society than the safety of its women and its children, three months from now, the issue of safety of women would find itself dumped alongside other important issues as ever increasing cost of living, rising gap between the poor and rich etc.

54% of Rape Cases are never reported

While implicating the criminals and demanding justice for the victims, people distance themselves from a crime that is more collective than it first appears to be. In India, the ordeal of a rape victim does not end with the end of the moments in which the ghastly and dreadful incident took place; the ordeal lasts every day of the remaining days of victim’s life and we the people, though not directly involved in the crime, become passively involved in the ordeal of the victim. The spectrum of this collective crime comprises of many juries that speak through expressions of sympathy, advice, indifference, impassivity and in most cases, subjugation. What do you think a rape victim wants- words filled with sympathy or statements imbued with pity? Do they desire your advice or your analysis of where they went wrong? The rape victims are subjugated to live a life in which the deafening echo of forced silence does not permit them to either forgive or forget.

According to Rape and Incest National Network, 54% of rape cases are never reported.  A constant fear of being ostracized from the society withholds the rape victims from coming out in open.  If Tehelka’s sting expose, The Rapes Will Go On, is any proof of it, the attitude of the guardians of law is not exactly helpful. To state it in clearer terms, most fingers find themselves involuntarily pointing towards the victim and not the accused. Arguments such as the length of the dress, the unsuitability of the hour, the amount of alcohol consumed become more important than a simple fact: She should not have been raped, irrespective of how valid or invalid the secondary details may seem to be.

Silence is not the remedy

 

Rape and Incest National Network also states that 97% of rapists never see the insides of a prison. This so happens because most of the rape victims choose to stay silent, a stance well promoted and encouraged by family of the victim to protect that farcical crown of family honour.  In psychiatry, talking openly about one’s wounds is the first step in the process of recuperation. How will a rape victim get over the trauma when they are deprived of that first step of healing? 

49 years back, an African American girl was raped at the tender age of 9 in Mississippi. Oprah, the girl who was raped, would go on to become one of the greatest talk show host of all times and inspire people with the story of her life. Millions would praise her resilience and raise her to the stature of being an idol. A few years back, another girl was raped in a metro city in India. That girl would go on to live the rest of her life filled with the regret of having never spoken about the heinous crime to which she fell a prey. She would never forget and she would never be able make peace with herself.

Rape is a crime and any crime is not remedied with silence. Crimes are remedied with punishment. Unfortunately, in India, rape has been made into such a taboo that ultimately it is the victim who gets punished for the crime they suffered. It kills me to know that in different corners of the world, there exist women who not only go through the physical agony that rape causes but also the mental agony that the forced or feared silence brings along. If we are talking about safety of women, let us also talk about creating such an environment in which rape victims, out of the fear of social judgment, are not forced to stay silent.

I demand justice for the victim of the Delhi Rape Case, and I also demand justice for all those rape victims whose stories never reached us, whose pain was burned to protect the family name, and justice for all those who suffer from the suffocating silence that is capable of choking existence. When justice will be served to all, it is only then that the lambs will stop screaming.