HAPPY NEW YEAR FELLAS!

2013 is round the corner and it is the time to make some resolutions, the first being that I shall be more resolute about fulfilling my resolutions. So, here is my list of resolutions for the year 2013.  

Get Elastic Waistbands: Is it the case with all women or is it just me who runs short of waistbands (not in terms of length for if that’s the case, we would witness catastrophe but more so, in terms of numbers)? Waistband crisis has haunted women for decades now. In 1921, Meme who lived in a small village in Eastern U.P could not get married to the man of her dreams for on her wedding day, when the groom was waiting for the bride; Meme was struggling to find a waistband. The year 2013, will henceforth be remembered as the year that solved the problem of the waistband. I resolve that in 2013, I will solve the problem of waistband crisis by switching to elastic waistbands. For once and for all.

File Petition with Denim Companies: I am sick and tired of rummaging through stacks of even- sized jeans in the shelves of the stores in malls. If your waist size is 30, you are lucky. If your waist size is 32, you need to lose some weight, but you are still lucky for you will get a pair of denim that will fit. However, if your girdle is 31 inches, may heaven be with you for you will never find jeans that will fit. Size 30 won’t let you get into it and size 32 won’t let you stay into it. I resolve to file a petition with denim companies in 2013, thereby, requesting them to create odd-sized denims. If I am paying for it, I want to be able to breathe in it.

Learn to make annoying conversations: As much as I would like to believe that the verbatim conversation mentioned below never happened, the truth is it did happen. And as much as I’d like to believe that ‘babu’, ‘baby’, ‘bachha’ can be cute monikers; the truth is they are utterly irritating when spoken in public.

X: Meri to shaddi kisi aur se hone wali thi, lekin phir yeh meri zindagi main aaye aur inhone mujhe apne glamour se aakarshit kar liya. Yeh na brand management main hain, to inko sab mall main sab jaante hain. Yeh mujhe mall leke gaye aur bahut shopping karayi, kahin kisi ne paise bhi nahin liye.

Y: (uninterested expression) Achha. Lucky hain aap.

X: Haan aur mujhe hi nahin, inhone mere bhai ko bhi shopping karayi aur woh pagal 67,000 ki shopping kar baitha. Louis Philippe ki shirt, addidas ke joote, sab itni mahangi mahangi cheezen khareed lin.

Y: (uninterested expression) Achha. Lucky hain aap.

X: Haan main to inke charm se attract hogayi. (takes her phone out and shows it to the other girl) Yeh dekho meri Nano. Yeh to inhone mujhe shaadi par di.

Y: Achha. Lucky hain aap.

I am usually not very irritating except when I absolutely want to be. All the same, it is good to be irritating. Take for instance, if I am travelling in a metro coach and the person sitting right next is exuding stink, I can irritate her to death by making an annoying conversation. Puking is helpful too, but it should be reserved for quandary situations. In 2013, I resolve to learn to be irritating and annoying and I resolve to learn to puke and burp.

Finish that book by Robert Fisk: For those of you who do not know, Robert Fisk is a British Journalist who most probably has been given the distinguished honor of being a Historian (in all fairness, Fisk as a Historian, is a better historian than any historian can be). It was in 2011, that I first picked up ‘The Great War for Civilization’, a book so elaborate it makes Arundhati Roy’s articles look tersely brief; safe to say  if God were to complete this book, he would have not been able to create the world. Two months later, I put it down. Two months later, I picked it up. Two months later, I put it down yet again and it has been so. The year 2013 shall see me finish ‘The Great War for Civilization’.

Put relationships to test: Relationships should be put to tests for life should be devoid of people who cannot be trusted. 2013 shall witness me putting to test the loyalty of all the men and women. The litmus test of my friendship would be considered qualified only if all men I know vow to see the Twilight series and skip the annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show whereas all women who claim to love me, gift me a dress from their wardrobes.

There are only a very few important things in life. People will come; people will go. There will be times when you will feel that your world is shrinking and is about to come to an end but you will find a ray of hope making way into your life and sweeping it clean off the darkness. You will get hurt; you will lose but you will find the heart to fight and never give up. And while all this happens, the most important thing that you need to remember is- always moisturise your skin well and use sun screen for trust me, life can go on with a broken heart but not with a face that looks like cracked shoe polish.

One World. One Soul. Time shall pass but river won't roll.

As I mourn the death of the victim of Delhi Gang Rape Case, there is a sense of growing resentment within self, a revolting sorrow that is immensely disturbing and a feeling of helplessness that fiddles untrammeled with the peace of mind. Delhi, the city that is constantly moving, has seemed to stop to pay homage to a brave heart that succumbed to death after stirring the collective conscience of an otherwise resistant nation and its indifferent people.  However, as people unite to partake in Solidarity protest at Jantar Mantar and elsewhere, the Government stands ready to plunge daggers and puncture the brewing spirit of rebellion, the spirit that shall only be mitigated by justice and assurance. The media vans have been cleared from sites of protest and photography has been prohibited (as reported by some journalists). It is a day of double mourning: we mourn the death of Delhi Gang Rape Victim; we mourn the death of Indian Democracy.

It is in times when it is most unwanted that the follies of the fools become transparent and fall within the grasp of worthy attention. All societies are deeply entrenched with unparallel ideologies that rarely converge into a point of concurrence. However, when during times of turmoil, these diverse ideologies become points of argument rather than meaningful observations, their existence become futile and unworthy. Even in the Delhi Rape Case, the clashing ideologies have been a cause of much rancor. The issue of safety of women which should have been at the real locus of debate has been pushed to the periphery as irrelevant discussions revolving around Muslim Conquest of India, effectiveness of Sharia’ Law, detrimental influence of Western Culture etc. take centre-stage. 

No, Sharia’ is not the answer

When partition took place, the two sister nations were each given a choice and each chose a different fate- Pakistan decided to implant its roots in theocracy, India embraced Democracy. The journey that the two countries have made should cast some light on why the makers of modern India felt abalienated with the concept of theocracy. As soon as the news of Delhi Gang Rape reached the masses, social media sites were overtaken by gory pictures of bloodstained culprits being punished for the crime of rape as per the Sharia’ Law. Thousands have hailed the Sharia’ as the need of the hour completely forgetting that by adopting Sharia’, we are also adopting the ugliest form of violence against which we protest.  Stoning the culprits to death, castrating them or feeding them to stray hungry dogs may pour ice cold water on burnt hearts but in the long-run, such a system of law and justice will promote violence and barbarism. Most of all do we really need a justice system where not only the criminal but also the victim is punished (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qatif_rape_case)?

No, the ‘Muslim Conquest’ did not bring along the Rape Culture

There is no dearth of mindless Hindus who blame the Muslim invasion/conquest for an increase in the number of rape cases in India. The other day a bunch of zealots who believed, and perhaps very wrongly, that the Hindu culture was absolutely devoid of any instances of rape or adultery, blamed the Islamic conquest for the prevalence of rape culture in India. If, indeed, the Islamic conquest is to be blamed for the birth of rape culture in India, how is it that all the six accused in the Delhi Gang Rape Case are Hindus? If Islam brought along with itself the crime of rape, shouldn’t it be the followers of Islam and not that of Hinduism, who should have been caught as culprits?

No, it’s not about the increasing influence of the Western Culture

Khalid Hossaini wrote, “Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.”  There are some men who want the women of India to make peace with a horrendous crime that is rape only because they have opened their life to the Western Culture. The hidden insinuation states- either learn to live as per the norms we have set for you or do not expect us to protect you. When men make such diktats, they forget to browse through their phones and delete those porn clips, which to me are the most damaging of all Western spawns. If the short hem of a woman’s dress is capable of inciting the beast within a man, I wonder what devils get awakened when men who pass decrees see nude women on their screens. Ironically, nobody wipes the cell before asking the women to wipe off their rights.

No, the protest did not expose the malice of Delhi’s Underbelly

In a write-up about the rage that followed the rape of the victim, a journalist wrote that the protests exposed the malice of Delhi’s underbelly. How wrong can one be? The protest at Jantar Mantar and elsewhere in India did not expose the malice of Delhi’s Underbelly. On the contrary, if it all it did anything, it was to evince the fact that the people in this country are not immune to pain and injustice.  They are not heartless and selfish.  They won’t suffer in silence and life will not move-on when incidences that provoke stillness happen and happen repeatedly. 

The death of the 23-year old victim of Delhi Gang Rape Case is a cause of great sorrow to the country. The question that her death leaves unanswered is not about where do girls go wrong. It is not about what is wrong with people. It is also not about what is wrong with the media. The question is not about what or who is to be blamed for rape or an increase in the number of rape cases. The question is: What did you do to make women safer in this country? There will always be somebody who you can blame. There will always be a mistake that a woman might have made. There will always be a way to find you diverging from the prime say: Nothing, absolutely nothing, justifies rape. But there is also one thing that you need to remember, if you don’t do enough to make women safer in this country, there will be a soul up above in the sky that will not be able to rest in peace.

The Silence of the Lambs

“India’s society rails against rape, in the main, not out of concern for victims but because of the despicable notion that a woman’s body is the repository of family honour. It is this honour our society seeks to protect, not individual women.” – The Hindu.

The destructive and yet also the contributing habit of people of obsessing with permanent agendas only temporarily, and contributing to the sound and fury in only the moment of crisis leads to situations where hasty decisions overshadow reflexive thinking. That justice should be meted out to the victim of Delhi Rape Case and that the criminals should be hanged to death is not only right but also necessary.  Definitive actions pave way for definitive assurances and the women of this country, the people of India need that assurance from the law and the government. 

However, that punishing the criminals and that appeasing the existential angst of the people would not only lead to closure of the case but also the closure of the matter in general, is a cause of concern. In three months from now, all would have been forgotten. In three months from now, the over-powering sound and fury would find itself buried under the dunes of this fast- paced life. While few issues should be more important to Indian Society than the safety of its women and its children, three months from now, the issue of safety of women would find itself dumped alongside other important issues as ever increasing cost of living, rising gap between the poor and rich etc.

54% of Rape Cases are never reported

While implicating the criminals and demanding justice for the victims, people distance themselves from a crime that is more collective than it first appears to be. In India, the ordeal of a rape victim does not end with the end of the moments in which the ghastly and dreadful incident took place; the ordeal lasts every day of the remaining days of victim’s life and we the people, though not directly involved in the crime, become passively involved in the ordeal of the victim. The spectrum of this collective crime comprises of many juries that speak through expressions of sympathy, advice, indifference, impassivity and in most cases, subjugation. What do you think a rape victim wants- words filled with sympathy or statements imbued with pity? Do they desire your advice or your analysis of where they went wrong? The rape victims are subjugated to live a life in which the deafening echo of forced silence does not permit them to either forgive or forget.

According to Rape and Incest National Network, 54% of rape cases are never reported.  A constant fear of being ostracized from the society withholds the rape victims from coming out in open.  If Tehelka’s sting expose, The Rapes Will Go On, is any proof of it, the attitude of the guardians of law is not exactly helpful. To state it in clearer terms, most fingers find themselves involuntarily pointing towards the victim and not the accused. Arguments such as the length of the dress, the unsuitability of the hour, the amount of alcohol consumed become more important than a simple fact: She should not have been raped, irrespective of how valid or invalid the secondary details may seem to be.

Silence is not the remedy

 

Rape and Incest National Network also states that 97% of rapists never see the insides of a prison. This so happens because most of the rape victims choose to stay silent, a stance well promoted and encouraged by family of the victim to protect that farcical crown of family honour.  In psychiatry, talking openly about one’s wounds is the first step in the process of recuperation. How will a rape victim get over the trauma when they are deprived of that first step of healing? 

49 years back, an African American girl was raped at the tender age of 9 in Mississippi. Oprah, the girl who was raped, would go on to become one of the greatest talk show host of all times and inspire people with the story of her life. Millions would praise her resilience and raise her to the stature of being an idol. A few years back, another girl was raped in a metro city in India. That girl would go on to live the rest of her life filled with the regret of having never spoken about the heinous crime to which she fell a prey. She would never forget and she would never be able make peace with herself.

Rape is a crime and any crime is not remedied with silence. Crimes are remedied with punishment. Unfortunately, in India, rape has been made into such a taboo that ultimately it is the victim who gets punished for the crime they suffered. It kills me to know that in different corners of the world, there exist women who not only go through the physical agony that rape causes but also the mental agony that the forced or feared silence brings along. If we are talking about safety of women, let us also talk about creating such an environment in which rape victims, out of the fear of social judgment, are not forced to stay silent.

I demand justice for the victim of the Delhi Rape Case, and I also demand justice for all those rape victims whose stories never reached us, whose pain was burned to protect the family name, and justice for all those who suffer from the suffocating silence that is capable of choking existence. When justice will be served to all, it is only then that the lambs will stop screaming.

Parliament Deadlock Compel Politicians to look for Part- Time Jobs

The Indian Parliament has become the Canadian Horseweed.  Before fingers begin to point, let me clarify that the comparison does not insinuate a pro-western policy or the parasitic behavior of its occupants. It simply implies that much like the plant, the Indian Parliament stays closed more than it opens. Given the state of the matter, it seemed that the Parliament deadlock of 2012 would have outlasted the month long washed out winter session of 2011.

This is an age of celebrity endorsements. The Parliamentary stall provides our politicians with a lot of free time which they can effectively utilize to endorse products and uptake part time jobs. For once, wouldn’t it be good to have party funds collected through our politician’s drudgery? Wouldn’t it be good to have named contributors in place of unnamed donors?

Our Parliamentarians and Politicians make an accomplished group with exclusive individual talents. My almost idle-mind-devil’s-workshop imagines what products our politicians should endorse and which side job they should take.

1. Sushma Swaraj: This Parliamentarian who holds the distinction of being the youngest ever Cabinet Minister is best known for her computer memory. In case, you managed to overlook her career database, let me remind you that Mrs. Swaraj is the “Chacha Chaudhary” of the Indian Parliament. She should, thus, utilize her unmatchable retentiveness as an excuse to bag the endorsement of brain capsules under an agreement to use one of her anti-congress- anti-corruption speeches as a demo advertisement to establish the product?  Kill two birds with one stone, eh?
2. Arun Jaitley:  As a strategic planner of BJP, Arun Jaitley can organize workshops on how to coordinate campaigns in his free time. Though Jaitley is fit to endorse many products; he should simply take this time off to actually fight an election.  A political career with only appointments to show on resume and no ‘actual’ victories is like a pizza with tomato, onion, capsicum, mushroom and jalapenos but no cheese. Tasteless!
3. Nitish Kumar and Narendra Modi: While one is busy hurling brickbats, the other is busy preparing report cards for the upcoming session.  The unspoken chemistry between these two mighty men is hard to ignore. The constant criticizing, teasing and never-ending rivalry makes Narendra Modi and Nitish Kumar, the perfect choice to play a cameo in the longest survived television show, Tom and Jerry. The question is- who gets to be the cat and who has to be the rat?
4. Mamta Banerjee: Oh well, let us keep Didi away from jumping on the endorsement bandwagon. Celebrity endorsements can come later. Lessons in Brand Management are what she needs to learn first. With ghosts from a certain “arrested” past haunting her, Ms. Banerjee would benefit best from an internship stint at a good PR company. Or, would Didi want to go for an image revamp by endorsing a certain mouth (mao-th) wash?
5.  L.K Advani: Advani has a very important task at hand-deciding BJP’s Prime Ministerial Candidate. So, it would be quite unfair on our parts if we expect the senior BJP leader to endorse products or take part time jobs. However, it would also be wrong if we keep the veteran politician away from some constructive and contributory work. Amid appeasing internal clashes and zeroing in on a single candidate, the “Eternal Yatri” can devote his free time to designing a chariot so beautiful, it would magnetize fellow yatris. I am sure a Rath-Yatra is on the cards in 2014.  
6.  Laloo Prasad Yadav: Laloo Prasad Yadav’s charismatic personality, unsurpassable sense of humor and a long list of admirers in Bollywood and elsewhere, make him the media’s blue eyed boy. Consequentially, this Parliamentarian would never suffer from lack of options to choose from in the brand endorsement game. Laloo Prasad Yadav can endorse any product and make it as famous as Jesus. We know not what he would endorse; we know what he should not endorse- Family planning and English Speaking courses. Bhak Budbak!
7. Vijay Mallya: Desperate times call for desperate measures. The King of good times has been hit by a rough patch. And he will strike back. With endorsements? Err… maybe. Every drop in the Ocean counts, isn’t it? Given his flamboyant lifestyle and playboy image, Mallya should stop endorsing his son and instead endorse some dating websites. The mind should be where the money is. The son can take care of himself.
8.  ManMohan Singh: Which brand name should the Prime Minister of India endorse? Hebrew National. What is Hebrew National? It is a food brand which makes kosher hot dogs and sausages. Is there a connection between Hot Dogs and the Indian Prime Minister? Not that I can think of. Why do I, then, suggest the Prime Minister to endorse the brand? Does not the tagline say it all- We answer to a higher authority. Our Prime Minister would know the pain. Jee Madam Jee!
9. Rahul Gandhi:  “What’s in a name?” said Shakespeare. The Bard of Avon would have eaten his words had he met Rahul Gandhi even once. It’s all in the name. At least, in case of the Gandhis. This Gandhi-Nehru Scion’s kitty must be brimming with companies soliciting him to endorse them. In such a scenario, the onus is on the companies for Rahul Gandhi would endorse only those names which allow him to “play a bigger role”.
10.  Shashi Tharoor: With his long list of conquests and achievements, Shashi Tharoor should be gracing literary events and International conferences more often. But beauty is such a curse. Can anyone really look beyond that charming smile and those beautiful green eyes? No. Tharoor would do best if uses the power of his beauty to endorse cosmetics. Imagine a prim and proper Mr. Tharoor selling fairness creams and hair products. Ah! Works wonders for me. Or the author par excellence can also endorse The Great Indian Wedding. Married thrice and still counting!    
11. Kapil Sibal: Mr. Sibal could have easily marketed Champion Notebooks, Natraj Eraser or Add Gel pens but then he had to lose his sheen by creating the “toilet controversy”. Unfortunately, going by the recent controversy, there is only one company dying to hire Mr. Sibal as its celebrity face- Parryware. Now, it is for Mr. Sibal to decide if he wants to “add glamour to his life” or not.
12. Digvijay Singh: A little birdie told me that a Software Giant has been putting in delirious efforts to get Digvijay Singh to become their new face. They believe if there is a man as well programmed as a Computer Software, its Digvijay. I couldn’t agree more but I suggest, try Manish Tewari too.  
13.  Rekha: Whatever the reason be- fifty layers of make-up, abusive use of concealers or 45 degree portrait light set up; the fact is that even a 100x Zoom lens cannot capture a single wrinkle on Rekha’s face. The only product that Rekha should endorse at 58 is Anti-Ageing Capsules. Dil cheez kya hai, aap mere anti-ageing capsules lijiye.  Bas ek baar mera kaha maan lijiye.
14. Anna Hazare: Anna Hazare says he is not a politician. You know he is not a Parliamentarian. And I believe it would be wrong to devoid this list of a name which has stirred Indian politics and tormented Parliamentarians for months now. A source dying to be disclosed told me publicly that McDonald’s has been putting in a lot of efforts to sign Anna as its brand face. Anna Hazare, when skipping meals, pulls huge crowds. Imagine the reaction if a podgy Anna holds a Happy Meal in his hand and declares, “i’m lovin it”. The result might compel the forever seated Ronald McDonald to stand up in surprise.  

Fashion : A new form of Ugliness

Fashion is an art. It is a creative way of using one’s own body as a canvas to send out messages that speak of the million things that goes inside the vital mind. Everything on the exterior is a reflection of the interior. Fashion shares the fundamentals of religion. Anyone who understands this art of silent conversation will agree that fashion, much like religion, is something very personal. It is an individualistic element of personality. However, much like religion, when fashion is spread through coercive or non-coercive influence, it becomes meaningless. It may exist in our mind but we begin to lose its essence. Contrary to the public belief, true fashion has become rare. The new concept of “Universal trends” has taken its place.

Fashion was an intelligent child of creativity. Trend (which today has become synonymous with fashion) is the mindless foster child of the capitalistic fashion industry. Fashion is not an art anymore. It is a business and all the self-proclaimed fashion addicts or media pronounced fashion forwards are nothing but merely, the victims of a capitalistic fashion industry. Abe Ajay, the famous American artist, once said,” The art world is now a fashion industry, led by its Whitney Biennial ‘nose for the new look`. But nobody, it seems has the guts or the brains to blow the necessary whistler and holler, ‘Hold on guys! What the hell is this ugly bit of business?” To be able to understand the true meaning of fashion, it is important to reveal the farce face of current trend-fashion-industry.

Twenty First Century Fashion- a result of capitalism & Elitism

In fashion magazines, pages dealing with intellectual opinions are inserted in between thick piles of advertisements from big fashion houses. The 2011 September issue of the Fashion behemoth, Vogue, carried 532 pages of advertisement of the total 758 pages. Similarly, the second leading fashion magazine, InStyle, had 347 pages filled with ads from big fashion houses and lifestyle brands. It has been alleged that Anna Wintour, the editor-in-chief of the world’s most celebrated fashion magazine, the American Vogue, buys upcoming designers by obligating them through undue favors. Anna Wintour is also infamous for promoting the use of fur by denying paid advertisements of animal protection organizations in her magazine and simultaneously, compelling her designers to promote fur in lieu of promotion in the same coveted magazine. Lifestyle channel celebrates the life of the elites. Television shows are dedicated to celebrity life and their designer wardrobes. Names like Armani, Versace, Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs, Tom Ford, Lanvin, Louis Vuitton, John Galliano, Alexander McQueen etc. have been imprinted on the minds of the middle class.  NDTV Good Times’ famous show “I’m Too Sexy – All Access” is clearly biased towards big fashion houses and popular designer names. In recent episodes on bags and shoes, the top ten picks comprised of ridiculously expensive designer creations. Nothing from the streets made it to the list. Unfortunately, these days, fashion journalism does not give much importance to designers who actually design clothes for the middle strata and no space is dedicated to promoting personal style. The opinion of the pundits is unanimous and one- the style of the elites is celebrated and it is the only thing in the world that should be imitated.

Is it worth the price?

Art is priceless. Isn’t it? The fashion industry lives by the same diktat. This is the only way of explaining the sky high prices that the designers demand for their designs. The haute couture is customized and one of its kind. A fair enough explanation for why it needs to be so expensive. However, not all pieces that designers create are exclusive. Invariably every designer product is priced at an unaffordable amount. Most of these designer items are created in third world countries like Bangladesh, China, India, Cambodia etc. where the labor is available for cheap and is compelled to work for long strenuous hours to get some much needed money (a fact which is constantly undermined and concealed). Gucci’s parent company PPR was accused of using third world cheap labor in 2002. In 2007, A BBC program showed Indian children working extra hours in sweatshops to produce products for the American clothing and accessories retailer GAP. Incidents like these have become recurrent now. The employment of third world labor in the process of production may have reduced the real cost of production but the price demanded for designer goods have only increased over the years. A look at the prices of some of the iconic dresses and accessories will explain things further:

•  The iconic Hermes’s Birkin bag can cost a fashionista anything between £6,000 and £1, 00,000. These bags are made out of calf, crocodile, ostrich or lizard leather. (Should one really kill an ostrich for a bag?) The raw material used may be expensive but does not certainly amount to the value of the bag. The company justifies the cost of the bag on the grounds that these are crafted by experts and are handmade. (An expert craftsman sitting in some puny streets of Delhi can design a more or less similar bag for you at a much lesser price. Well, that’s handmade too but not worthy of the price. Why? Because it is not HERMES and no Vogue or Elle is promoting it).
•  American Designer Herve L. Leroux of Herve Leger created the amazing Bandage or the body-con dress with the materials that are traditionally used for making foundation garments. Herve sells these dresses for a range between $750 and $3800 (considering the fabric used, the cost charged is at least ten times or more of the real cost of production).
•  Fashion may be considered to be an obsession for women but there is no dearth of men who are willing to shed bank accounts to get a custom made suit. A tailor made Tom Ford or Valentino suit can cost a person around $2500. Similarly, the best of Yves Saint Laurent or Dolce and Gabbana custom –made suits are priced around $2100. (The tailor at Raymonds creates impeccable custom made suits for $96. Not many fashion lovers come to him. Why? Because Brad Pitt & Shahrukh Khan, do not endorse his tailored suits on the red carpets).
•  The fashion industry does not only make one pay through bucks. It also makes people pay physically. How? Take for instance, the current obsession with size zero. The supermodel Kate Moss who popularized the “zero-size” or “heroin-chin” look in the 1990s was naturally waif. She did not have to give up eating to attain the size zero status. However, when fashion pundits and celebrities established size zero as a norm, women across the world were compelled to give up eating and attain an anorexic figure.  Plus size women were written off as obese and ugly. In the fight to become fashionably accepted, women begun to become non-existent.

Can you call yourself fashionable?

Recently, Burberry and Louis Vuitton have won cases against counterfeiting. It means that the fake designer items that were sold in markets for cheap will now be unavailable. Anyone found selling or possessing them, is liable to fine. This is an iconic judgment for the capitalistic fashion industry because it means that the consumers, who earlier satisfied themselves with a cheaper imitation, will now be compelled to spend exorbitant amount of money in buying their favorite designer item. Those who cannot afford it will continue to dream of it (and anything which people cannot afford becomes all the more desirable to them).

The global fashion industry is an approximately thousand billion dollar industry today. People have become more conscious of brands and labels. Clothing and styling has been taken to a whole new level. Fashion magazines and lifestyle channels make millions each year. However, can we truly call ourselves fashionable? What does a woman wearing an Armani or a Valentino say of herself? To the fashion world, she may say that she is fashionable. But to me, her endorsement of designers seems to say that she lacks any knowledge of self and uses a designer as a crutch to boost up her low confidence. We wear clothes that are deemed to be suitable for us by a bunch of people who have invested more time in creating an industry ripe with profits than art. Through our choice of fashion, we shun who we really are to embrace who we want to be. The fashion industry may claim otherwise but the fact is that people are not fashionable anymore. They are simply disillusioned by a trap which is beautiful, glorious and becoming all the more unattainable at every step. Alas! Oscar Wilde saw it all coming years ago when he said, “Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.”

 

Baa Baa Brown Indian, should I pull off the ad?

A country deeply marred by political scandals, financial scams, flagrant corruption, hapless poverty, deep seated unemployment and external and internal security threats, doesn't feel raped of its pride when stories which evince that people are being looted, cheated and inappropriately served emerge out each day. However, an entire nation rolls in a common feeling of hurt when an American (white) actor whose job is to impersonate characters, wears the brown skin of an Indian in a commercial advertisement. Beware World. India is a serious nation and we, Indians take ourselves too seriously.  We may be brown but don’t you show it to us or anyone else because if you do, WE WILL SUE YOU.

This is not the first time when Indians have not been able to take a joke on themselves. In January this year, some Indians and an overtly ‘hurt’ N.R.I Dr. Randeep Dhillon dragged the American Comedian and the popular TV show host, Jay Leno to court. Law Suit Case: Disrespecting and hurting the feelings of the Sikh Community by portraying their holiest shrine, the Golden Temple, as a place for the rich and mighty. Jay Leno, had shown a picture of the Golden Temple while satirically and humorously calling it the summer home of the Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney.  Later in April this year, a huge controversy emerged when the well-wishers of Mamta Banerjee and the members of the Trinamool Congress went tooth and nail after Prof. Ambikesh Mohapatra of Jadavpore University when he posted a funny cartoon of the Chief Minister on his Facebook page. Rumors of social media censorship started emerging on the surface after the dictatorial Mamta fanatics jailed the Professor and threatened to take action against anyone who indulged in such lewd ribaldry in future. The many controversies like these, which have surfaced in the last few months have led us to the question- Has the Indians lost their funny bone? Do we take ourselves more seriously than we should?

The Indians have always been the Sentimentalists but now, many Indians have been plagued by a new disease which has made them the “projectionists”. The projectionists are very conscious about the kind of image they wish to project of themselves. They deny the reality, refuse to accept it, do everything to hide it and if anyone dares to put a mirror in front of it, they blow storms.  And yes, the projectionists are utterly unable to take a joke on them because the projectionists take their image too seriously. Do not ‘hurt’ them because they will sue you.

Ashton Kutcher’s ‘brownface ad’ provoked the Projectionists in the country. Why? Because it was true and the projectionists hate it when somebody shows them the truth that they do not like to hear and see. Does it even matter that the majority of the Indians are actually brown skinned? Does it even matter that Ashton Kutcher was only doing his job as an actor while impersonating the mannerism and the skin tone of an Indian? Does it even matter that the majority of the Indians did not find the advertisement at all racist? No, it didn't. Why? Because the feelings of those projectionists within the country, who buy millions of dollars worth of fairness cream, each year to look fair, were ‘hurt’. How can anyone show them to be brown when they so want to be white?

The dating website decided to pull the advertisement off air to avoid any controversy. However, in the opinion of an Indian who likes to see things as they are, I did not find the concerned advertisement at all racist. If at all there is anything racist, it is the attitude of the Indian projectionists, elaborately discussed above, who refuse to accept the true color of their skin and who secretively still vie to be white faced. The Whites will rule the roost of color as long as the blacks and browns of the world continue to cringe on the very mention of their color. How can we expect the world to respect us for who we are, when we ourselves refuse to embrace our true identity?

The question is simple and one -Who are we kidding, them or us?

MYSTERY MAGIC!!

Mysteries are not necessarily miracles but they make that iota of spark which triggers your imagination and set it into leaps. The curious case of human mind is that it works ardently to unfurl the mystery. As soon as it sees something that it does not understand well, it becomes aggravated. To appease its aggravation, the mind, then, starts to put down the pieces of the puzzle together to get the clear picture. The question however is - Is it really always necessary to get a clear picture? Can we not let some things stay mysterious always? Does every question have to be sufficed with an answer? And, is a mystery solved as charming as a mystery unsolved?

When I was young, my mother often took me to the Tibetan Markets to buy us some cheap winter wool. While she would look for sweaters, I would invariably stand with my glare fixed at those puny pathways that led to the houses of the Tibetans. Those small, bricked and inappropriately built houses held the charm of the world to me. They still do because those houses nurture a lifestyle that is unknown to me. I would stand their imagining how those Tibetans lived in the small houses where privacy seemed an alienated concept and sharing lives seemed the only answer. I had created a world of my own that moved inside those houses like the way I wanted it move. However, deep inside, I knew that I would be disappointed if I ever walked inside those doors. The bitterness of reality would crush the sweetness of my imagination. So, I never did. All I chose to do was stand outside the door and imagine how life moved inside it. I will never open the doors.

Yesterday, while shopping for groceries in a tiny jam packed street on Railway Road, I came across an old man with haggard grey hair, battered brown skin, grey cataract eyes, sitting in his wooden “khoka”, selling all kinds of “parchuni” to an otherwise uninterested and indifferent world. Our eyes met and as soon I looked into his, a hundred questions popped up in my mind. Where does this man live? Does he have any children? If yes, where are they and why do they let him run the shop (clearly, he was quite old for any occupation but comfort)? Is his wife dead? What does he do when he gets home? Within minutes, I was filled with a kind of curiosity that only answers could have satisfied. Did I question the old man? Did I satisfy my curiosity? No. Why? Because, more often than not, things that we begin to understand, begin to lose their charm. 

Finding answers is a choice and not a compulsion. Though it is important to unravel the truth, it is also important to celebrate mystery. Close your eyes and witness your life in flashes and you will realize that a major part of our life’s three hour edited version is made of those moments which were unexplained, unexpected, uncelebrated, unfamiliar, unrevealed, unsung or untold. So, in your quest to seek answers, learn to celebrate the questions that do not have an answer.

Next time, you see a woman who absolutely scintillates your senses, do not run to her. Simply, capture her scintillations. Next time, you come across a place that seems heaven, do not try and carry it back with you. Simply, capture the beauty. Next time, you feel you are losing someone and nothing you do seem to bring them back, do not question the happening. Simply, capture the fight that you fought. Next time, you get a feeling that you cannot understand, do not try to understand it. Simply, capture the feel. And the next time you feel you do not understand life, do not try to understand it. Simply, begin to live it.

If understanding some things is important, not trying to understand some other things is also equally important. Just to be, is blessing. Just to live is holy.