O! Fish!!

I love water. I love the gossamer blue of it. It is extremely comforting to sit on a beach and listen to the sound of water striking against the shores; at times rough and at times slow. It was my love for water that compelled me to take a flight to the Marari Beach in Kerala on a Friday afternoon.

Courtesy of an old friend, who happens to be an employee of the Kerala Government, a guest house was assigned to me for three days. Nepotism is actually not such a bad thing, is it? I spent the Saturday morning on the beach. In the afternoon, I went for a meal at an inexpensive beach restaurant. In the evening, I went to visit a few tourist places. Sunday Morning saw me on the beach again and to tell you the truth, by the evening, I had begun to pine for Delhi way too much.

My flight way back home was on Monday evening.  To while away some free time, I went for fishing in the morning. I guess I was just hapless; couldn’t catch a single fish. After an hour, my spirits resigned; the love for water precipitated off and just when I was about to drag my heavy feet back to the guest house, something funny happened.

A fish emerged from water, took a high flight into the air and dropped off its weight on my feet. Right next to my feet, it twisted, contorted and gasped for oxygen. In a few seconds, it found eternal peace and stopped twisting forever. And that’s when I said- O FISH! I DID NOT EVOLVE FROM THE APES ALONE.

While watching a fish die underneath my feet on the silken sand of an Indian beach, I came up with an evolution theory that Darwin would kill me for prophesying; a theory which is physically impossible and conceivably disgusting but plausible to the mind of an insane woman and hence, I will propose it.

The humans evolved from apes. We evolved and started looking better. Unfortunately, some of us didn’t evolve much and continue to look and act like apes even to this day. But I propose that the apes must have externally fertilized with a number of different animals and that’s how humans came to existence. This also precisely explains the analogy of human behavior with the action pattern of different animals.

For instance, I am a fish. I could not savor the Marari Beach because I survive best in my own waters. I like being at home. If you put me somewhere else, I twist and turn and yell till I am thrown back into the place where I came from. Some people I know are like Ostriches - just because they have closed their eyes and hidden their faces, they presume very wrongly that the world will not notice them. They fall a prey to their own follies. Then some are Jackasses, the ones who are born morons. Category "Apodogs" includes the ones that descended from ancestors produced from conjugation of apes and dogs. They are a ferocious species of humans. They bite more than they listen. The turtle humans are those who creep slowly all their lives. The lion humans are one-man-shows.. And the worst of all kinds are the cat humans. They are cunning, connive and selfish.

So, you see I have a theory that may seem funny but it is quite plausible. Peep inside your own soul and tell me, which animal are you?

Be true to yourself.

I WILL VOTE FOR DONALD DUCK!!!

The Indian democracy has come to become that dice which has only a single facet. Even if you shake it, roll it and throw it hard, you will only get but one number. The number in the context of the Indian Politics is a name- The Congress.

Publicly embarrassed by scandals and aspersions, the image of AICC has suffered a huge setback in the last one year. The political party has been in deep political mire for a while now. Pages like, “Rahul Gandhi is not the future of Uttar Pradesh”, “I hate Congress”, “We want our money back” etc., on various public networking sites speak volumes about the dwindling credibility of the Congress. The bigger question however is- Would all the scams and scandals lead to a shrunken vote bank for Congress in 2014 elections?

The answer is a hesitant No. Most likely, the Congree would still remain to be the national party with the highest votes in 2014 general elections. This, however, is not because Congress has proved its competency and dedication towards the nation in its present term; it is more due to the fact India does not have any another meritorious and creditable party to vote for. The only other two national parties that can play a huge role in Indian politics are the Bhartiya Janta Party and the Left Coalition of India. Though both these parties are capable of playing a major role in a coalition, they are equally incapable of completely sidelining the Congress in future politics.

The Bhartiya Janta Party (BJP) lost its integrity and trustworthiness by harping on the communal issue of “Ram Janam Bhumi- Ayodhya Mandir” for far too long. Its image was tainted forever after the Godhra Violence of 2002. The BJP cannot woo the Muslim voters until the time it chooses to shed off its “Hindutva” ideals, which it has declared that it will stick to, even in the 2014 general elections. If this case, not just the Muslim voters but even the educated youth of India would not vote for a political party that lays its foundations on an old, failed  and rotten concept of ”Hindutva”. If BJP has to win the trust of its voters back, it will have to reshuffle and transfigure its ideologies, which unfortunately seems a far cry as of now.

On the other hand, as alluring and as charming as it may appear, the truth is that socialism has never really succeeded in India. Communism crept into the Indian society through the Russian Revolution and thenceforth, it could never make a niche for it in the India pattern of politics. Owing to its hold in certain states, the Left would continue to play a major role in the Indian Coalition politics but unfortunately, as of now, it is not a political force than can dismantle the ground for Congress in India.

Congress does not have my trust. The BJP does not have my faith and the Left does not have my conviction. So, given the present scenario, who would I vote for in the 2014 general elections?

I WOULD VOTE FOR DONALD DUCK.

(Refer to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protest_vote)

Welcome SlutWalk

Welcome SlutWalk!

The much celebrated SlutWalk is reaching India on the 25^th of June.  Celebrities and non-celebrities alike are all gearing up to walk the protest. Amidst all the hoopla that has surrounded the SlutWalk, one question has been left unanswered in many ways- Does India even need a SlutWalk?

SlutWalk first evolved as a goading response to a statement made by a Toronto Police Officer. While addressing a University gathering on the issue of “Crime Prevention”, the officer remarked, “The women should stop dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized”. This particular comment of Michael Sanguinetti evoked extreme fury among the activists and led to the launch of the SlutWalk. SlutWalk isn’t about setting an agenda. It is has emerged as a unique proposition for making the world conceive the idea that a woman, irrespective of the way she dresses or puts her make-up, is not responsible for rape or sexual assault in any ways and that there can absolutely be no excuse provided for heinous crimes like rape or sexual assault.

Does India need SlutWalk?

The answer is a vehement yes. India, as an essentially patriarchal society has been unjust to its women nationals in many ways. To name, female Feticide, dowry killings, sexual slavery, sexual assault and rape are just a few delinquencies that a woman has to face owing to her sex.  In the last one decade, crime against women has reached its zenith. According to the statistics, a woman is raped every 25 minutes in India. Only one out of 70 rape cases is actually reported. Unfortunately, the proceedings in these few reported cases are either too sloppy or completely absent for mostly the accused are people with good “political” backing. The bare truth is that the Indian authorities have been fairly unsuccessful in safeguarding the sexuality of the fairer sex. Thus, it is time that women make efforts to make them heard. SlutWalk is the voice of the women who have decided to take a stand to protect them.

Welcome SlutWalk for it is a way of telling the world that the Indian Women are unwilling to take any more atrocities. Welcome SlutWalk for it is a movement which intends to safeguard women’s right to choose. Welcome SlutWalk for it is a method of making the nation listen that yes means yes and no means no. Welcome SlutWalk for it is time to make the men understand that the Indian women are not going to tolerate their libido. Welcome SlutWalk to give the Toronto Police Official and the million others of his kind, a lesson to remember.

The greatest misconception regarding the SlutWalk is that while walking the protest, one is supposed to wear revealing clothes and unveil their body in “slutty” fashion. Though SlutWalk aims to redeem the true meaning of the word “slut”, it does not intend to do so by compelling the protestors to shed off their clothes. The official website of SlutWalk, SlutWalk Toronto, clearly states that anyone and everyone are welcome to support the moment by simply walking the protest. It is absolutely not necessary to dress scanty.

This 25^th of June, I will walk the SlutWalk to protect my freedom and my sexuality. Hope to see you there too.